immoderation

moderation resists the necessity of intention. does to drink, for example, serve a situational social function for you? does this outweigh its disfunction to your general health and well-being? without full intention in every facet of life, one disclaims his responsibility and selfishly abuses the maternal security of the universe to take care of him.

this morning, despite my usual abhorence to refined sugar, i took a cookie that was offered to me by a yet unknown retired professor at a college on-campus meeting -- with the intention of giving a friendly first impression with gratitude and cheerfulness at the offer. an hour later my stomach had already gotten over the discomfit and the meeting seemed to have gone well. my health was not exactly 'sacrificed' for it, i'd taken the opportunity when it came to mention the benefits of better eating (without egocentric self-referral), and could be sure that what i would say would be received in the same context of friendliness i accepted the cookie rather than default skeptical listening. considering the meeting's cause, i felt (without having to rationalize over it) the 'right thing' to do and did it.

full intention is the mentality of one who doesn't believe in backtracking -- there is really only stepping forward, and at times this calls for walking forward backwards. but even in walking this way, one does not lose one's momentum, nor altogether their direction. moderation is, to me, an excuse to step backwards, the opposite direction, detrimental as that may be to the journey. as such, i admire the smoker who says she lights one with full intention and awareness of why and its effects, over someone who even remotely confesses that she "knows she should stop, but..."

i think that responsibility plays the ultimate role in this mentality (-- something i've had to confront directly with myself in the past week concerning several irresponsible and 'mal-intentional' acts). a recent line that has played itself several times over in my head comes from bruce feiler's Learning to Bow: "those who are strongest individually must work even harder to preserve the health of the larger -- and stronger -- fold" (286). if we care to be individuals, as we american's most typically do, we should take this responsibility in being individualistic for the good of things beyond ourselves. individualism ≠ egocentrism.

so long as moderation is for the sake of self-satisfaction, even at a low scale, it is something immoral for me, let alone selfish. i choose to live my life for the All, which includes -- but is not confined to -- myself.


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