i'm not calling it a mass conspiracy -- i think we're neither sophisticated nor coordinated enough to perform something like that on a world-wide scale. but it is
something
-- something right in front of us, while hiding in and among everything, everyone. it's surely more like a grand, massive misperception, due to no one's direct intent but to a universal condition as to who and what we are

.

God. The deepest, most intimately
obscure parts of me, of everyone,
that penetrate into this conscious world,

peeks in, as though
through slitted paper,
between and throughout
the mediating delays of
apperception and experience.


Love. The becoming-God.
As gods ourselves, we incline
to unify while retaining our
plurality, our independence.
It is impossible, but this
is what we do,

liberating ourselves
by adding restrictions.

We know ourselves by
auto-perception, relying on
the eyes, ears, tongues,
bodies

of neighbors, parents,
lovers, friends, children,
teachers, colleagues,
others.

We feel ourselves, show
love for ourselves, by auto-
stimulation, the fingers,
lips, tongue, arms, words,
praises, skin, embraces,
collisions,

of those whose
perceptions we prefer.
It is automatic

even to where it is identical
to loving them.

Otherwise, there'd
be no purpose
in it.

Fear. The denial, rejection
of these things

because some-
times, they only
bring

pain.

An introduction to existentialism

Is this the limit to Being? Is all I have to do is put on a happier tune and dance around like an idiot, have a good meal, and walk out that door to fool everyone that all is alright, that I somehow know what I'm doing? Do I just need a girlfriend? Do I just need a friend? Do I just need a new journal? Do I just need more sex? Do I just need more exercise? Do I just need to be more diligent? Do I just need faith? Do I just need enlightenment? Do I just need to love someone? Do I just need to love myself? Do I just need to keep fighting? Do I just need to relax? Do I just need religion? Do I just need philosophy? Do I just need to appreciate 'the little things in life'? Do I just need to 'remember the big picture'? Do I just need something? Do I need nothing? Is that all?

Logic can tell us
how to think
and express ourselves
clearly,

but

it can tell us absolutely
nothing
whatsoever
about either the way the world is
or the way it should be.

No
worldview
follows
from
intelligibility.

Intelligibility
and its formalization
as funda-
mental rules
of logic

can only help us articulate a particular worldview
-- a worldview that may or may not be accurate.
Logic
requires
only
that
we,
not reality,
make sense.

-- Thomas Kasulis,
Intimacy or Integrity

Individual organisms do not branch;
only populations do
-- and the causes of a population's branching
can rarely be reduced
to the adaptive improvement
of its individuals.

-- Stephen Jay Gould
(concerning punctuated equilibrium),
"Darwinian Fundamentalism", 1.12.97

we are humans

we live

we create

and

and

we die

we destroy

we are gods.